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missing soul.

hi, its Lin, and welcome to the blog of despair.


contains fanfic, idiot posts, random thought, review, recipes and stuff.


fever. |180217|


November 2015
December 2015
January 2016
February 2016
March 2016
April 2016
July 2016
August 2016
January 2017
February 2017
May 2017

Saturday, November 28, 2015

Cast: Byunghyun, Lin


"Shut up, Byunghyun. I don't want to hear anything from you." I told the guy in front of me. He combed his hair using his fingers and sighed harshly.

"This is a misunderstood, Lin, please." 

"No, it's not!"

"Listen to me please."

I shook my head and marched away from him. I felt his hands grabbing mine so I pulled it and continue to walk.

I gritted my teeth as I remembered the scene. He hugged the girl in front of him, and that's not okay. I ran away as fast as I can to my house. Yes, I ran all the way long; hoping that he won't follow me.

I closed the door and ran towards my room, crying. This is hurt. We've been together for almost 3 years and he did this to me? Is he tired of me already? 

I wiped my tears away as I heard my phone ringing. It was him. I ignored it while still looking at the phone. There's 4 messages from him, so I decided to read it.

'I'm not that kind of guy, Lin. Let me explain.'

'Lin, I love you so much that I've never thought of another girl. Believe me.'

'Just answer my call, please?'

'I'm begging you, lin."

I shook my head and threw my phone away. I won't forgive him.

My phone started to ringing again and I was annoyed. I touched the green button to answer the call. "Shut up Byunghyun, I'm tired of this."

"I didn't hug her, she hugged me first."

"Doesn't seems like that to me."

"I swear Lin, she hugged me. Don't you see I'm struggling off from her?"


"Please don't be like this."

I didn't replied to him. It was raining outside so I just let the rain answers it.

"Lin, you there?"


It's weird, why does the rain sounds near to him. "Byunghyun, where are you?"

"Outside your house."

I gasped and ran all the way to the downstairs. I opened the door and saw him. "Are you stupid, Byunghyun!?"

The latter smiled and nodded. "Yes, I am."

I softened a bit and started to cry, making him come closer to me. "No, don't cry. Why are you crying? Stop."

"Because you are stupid, and I just really love you." I said; punching his chest. He smiled and hugged me.

"Don't mad at me again. I don't want to lose you."

I keep on punching his chest while he tighten the hug. I can felt his chuckling so I looked at him. "Why are you crying?"

"Because I thought I almost lost you."

I cried again and hugged him back. I can't think of living without him. Once the hug is released, he looked at me and fixed my hair. I smiled and invited him inside the house. I gave him a towel to dry himself.

"Thanks." He smiled. I bit my lips and nodded. I went to the kitchen to make a hot drink for him.

"Mocha." I passed it to him. He took it while patting the spaces beside him. I nodded and sat beside him. "Sorry Byunghyun."

He startled for a moment before smiling sincerely. He put the mug on the coffee table and leaned his head on my shoulder.

I can felt the butterfly flying around my stomach. He then hugged my waist and drew me closer to him.

"What are you doing, Byunghyun?" It's not like I'm not comfortable, it just so sudden.

"I just miss you, Lin

I blushed and looked away. I can felt that he is chuckling so I slapped his other hand. He laughed. "You're cute."

I chuckled and turned my head to him. "I miss you too." I said and slipped my fingers to his hand.

"I miss you more."

+ 7:19 PM

Cast: Yoobin, Lin.


The class are getting noisier after a week since Song Yoobin left them. Except Lin, everyone else seems to have move on from his death.

'It's a day without you again.' She sighed and busied herself by reading notes. Can she just meet him again and confess her feeling? Of course not.

Song Yoobin, the mood-maker of the class, can't survive from the tragic accident. She sighed for the umpteenth time. Her mind seems to be occupied by it.

"Hey, hey. What's with that face?" A very familiar voice greeted her. Song Yoobin, that's the first thing she thought of.

Like it's in her dreamland, Yoobin is sitting right on her table; chuckling softly at her. The voice of him make her instict that this is just a dream become true. He can't be real,

"Song Yoobin." It's supposed to come out as a scream but being too shocked, Lin can only whispered his name. She attempted to touch his cheeks, but it's only passed through him. No, he's not true. She moved a step backward from him; feeling afraid.

Yoobin smiled; hiding the fact how it's hurt seeing the girl infront of him reacted like that. "Atleast you can see me." He whispered silently. Lin can't figure out what he's saying, but she felt a little hint of sadness in his words. "W-why?" Shoot, why she's stuttering!?

Like just been told the funniest joke, he laughed contagiously. He wiped the tears formed. "You're stuttering." He grinned. "Ah, how can I poke your forehead now?"

Lin knitted both of her eyebrows together in confusion. He seems really hurt just now, and he's laughing? Yoobin then chuckled again before poking Lin's forehead; which passed through her. "Stop." She groaned lightly. It's weird to see a hand passing through your forehead on this ordinary day, or so-called, 'dream'.

"Do you know how I much I miss you?" Yoobin suddenly blurted out. Lin startled for a moment before looking away; keep on reminding herself that this is a dream only. She shook her head. Stop heart, don't fell for him, again. "Very much that I might believe I'm still alive."

The words from Yoobin felt like a pang of hurt right on her heart. If this is a dream, she'll settled everything and be with Yoobin; she don't want to wake up and stay like this forever. But, is this a dream?

Lin just about to reply his question when she remembered about something. Even if this is a dream, will Yoobin like her? Obviously not. "You just a dream. You'll gone by the time I woke up."

Oh, she never know how those words hurt him. I'm not a dream, please don't wish me to lose my existance, Lin. If only he can tell her that. If only...

"But I don't care whether this is a dream or not, I want you to know that I really need you. I almost losing my mind from the moment you left me. Please, Yoobin. Please stay." A crystal clear liquids escaped from the girl's eyes. Yoobin quickly hugged her. Yes, he's happy with the sudden confession, but seeing her like this really broke his heart. But he can't stay. 

Lin could feel the warmness of their hugs, but now she can only feel the coldness around her. And she was right, he's gone. 

+ 10:58 AM